Left-Right Brain and Abuse Patterns

As a child, I tried to be left-handed. That was NOT allowed to happen living with my maternal Grandmother. She tied my left arm behind my back for a VERY long time to force me NOT to use it at all and to force me to become right handed.

Thanks to my “undiagnosed probably high functioning autism” and both halves of my brain tended to work in harmony but being forced to become right handed – I suspect –  complicated my life and physical development.

Sometimes all these years later .. when stressed or confused .. I find myself with my left arm behind my back to keep me from using it .. sigh .. I stop doing that as soon as I notice it 🙂 but 60+ years later I am still doing it occasionally .. sigh ..

As a child with undiagnosed lazy eye, I could never color inside the lines .. still cannot .. until recently, I always thought it was due to my impaired vision .. now I suspect that was only one part of the issue .. now that I am elderly with Vascular Dementia .. with tiny memory holes [like swiss cheese] all over my brain connections from word to word meanings to word-to-emotions brain area [aka like a library card catalogue or the way a computer hard drive works]

I believe that there were always either totally broken or partially broken connections in my brain that re-wired itself even as a child due to the physical abuse issues I endured. I can guarantee you that my 60+ year old brain has been busy re-wiring itself for me to be able to do all sorts of things –again– that I used to be able to do before the memory issues then could not do for awhile but now I can do them differently than before 🙂 .. our brain is remarkable!

Barbara Burns

Senior Citizen / Artist working in watercolor, inks, digital pixels & fabric dyes with silk. I also have Vascular Dementia and am not able to work outside the home in the corporate world now. I started reading tarot cards as a very young child - a neighbor taught me when I was about 5 to 7 years of age. I started reading Oracle cards in my 30's.
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